Am I Being Ridiculous?

Two random things happened to me today (and as it’s only 10am I’m wondering what’s coming next!). Last week, the first time in months, I logged in to my Hotmail account. I no longer use it because it was one of those wholey-inappropriate ones that you make up because you think you’re cool!

Anyway, I logged in and found emails from pretty much everyone in my address book asking if I’d been hacked / had a virus! Turns out there had been nearly 2,000 spam emails sent from my address! Oh yes! Someone had been busy! I set about making it right. I sent a personal message to everyone who had emailed to apologise, explain it wasn’t me and asked if they were ok etc (the usual stuff). Score settled.

This morning, whilst checking again, I got a reply from someone. An ex-boyfriend!
Take in to consideration what my email said….

“Hey,

Sorry, I've not checked this account in months and it looks
as though someone hacked it. They only used it for 2 days though,
strange.

Anyway, sorry again!

Jen x”

So, his response was…..

“Lol, that’s ok. Glad you emailed. You seem happy. Everything
ok?

Hope the Audi’s keeping you happy!

xx”

WTF? I remember, word for word, that my last email to him had read “don’t you think you’re new girlfriend would be a little upset if she knew you were still emailing your ex-girlfriend?”, and I meant it in the nicest possible way.

Soldier (let’s call him that – good name, lol, yeah, he was a soldier BTW) had been a little too smitten with me and I’ve never been good at being smothered! I preferred a bit of a relaxed attitude and that’s what I would give back – it’s all in the chase boys!

Soldier is the only person I’ve ever cheated on (I hear you gasp…I know, you knew I was too good to be true (lol))…that’s another story and I definitely got my comeuppance eventually! But even after that he still wanted to carry on with the relationship. Is this boy not a little desperate? Or am I being too harsh?

BTW the Audi reference was as I had a brand spanking new one last time we spoke (3-effing years ago) – until someone rammed my car of a motorway and it was written off – I was in fact heart broken!

50th Post - Things About Me!

I was struggling to come up with a good 50th post. Most people seem to do contests or giveaways for important numbers, but as the 50th has kind of sneaked up on me I've opted out. I need some time to think up a unisex prize! So my first giveaway will be on the 101st post!

I decided that for the 50th post I will tell you some junk about me! You probably think you know some good stuff already, but I'm going to give you more!! Yes, I am feeding your addiction! I'm not sure what number I'll go to as I'm not sure how much I'll be able to think up!! Here goes nothing...

1. I have a handbag fetish, but they have to be ridiculously small

2. I'm really easily scared

3. I'm a qualified lifeguard

4. I know all the words to 80% of songs by Harry Chapin (test me if you like lol)

5. I got a tattoo on my back when I was 17 - before it was "the thing to have"

6. I've never watched a Star Wars movie

7. My bestie moved to Australia 2 years ago and I'm still sad about it

8. I have dreams 6/7 nights a week

9. I've totally abandoned my other blog over the past 3 weeks in favour of this one!!!!

10. My hair is very long and occasionally tucks in my pants! - That's the hair on my head BTW.

11. The photo attached to this post is where I live (and was taken last night)

12. My parents had a house in Florida until I was 15

13. The only famous person I've ever met was Joe Lawrence from Blossom (lol), but my boss knows Chris Martin from Coldplay (nah, I didn't think that counted either)

14. I would rather laugh and pretend I'm ok than cry and let someone in

15. I'm addicted to Gossip Girl

16. I love Ed Westwick / Chuck Bass!!!!!

17. I think I might need glasses / contacts, but don't want to admit it (other than to you)

18. I tell people I've never smoked - but I did (bad girl!) but only for about 2 weeks!

19. My name is Jennifer but it's only used when I'm being told off!

20. When I was little I had an ENT check and ignored the doctor because she called me Jennifer. She sent me to a hearing specialist as she thought I was deaf - clearly just ignorant!

21. I don't have any middle names

22. I can bake a pretty good cake!

23. I procrastinate...a lot

24. I've lost my ability to tell lies (possibly a good thing that I believe comes with age)

25. I can text without looking at the screen with no spellcheck

26. I hum to fill silences

27. I love the sound of rain hitting plastic / glass

28. I'm 100% nonreligious

29. I believe teaching about masturbation in schools would reduce teenage pregnancies

30. I have no idea what I want to do when I "grow up"

31. I used to cut my arms (until I was 18) but to this day I have no idea why!

32. I'm not very good at understanding myself

33. I learned to talk at 13 months and my parents were upset because they couldn't shut me up

34. I can touch my nose with my tongue

35. I have my tragus pierced (with a sparkly blue bar)

36. I'm good at problem solving

37. I struggle to listen positive things people say about me

38. I wish I'd tried to learn one of the many instruments my parents sent me to lessons for

39. I don't like people who lie

40. I struggle to hide it when I don't like someone

41. I don't trust my judgement

42. I buy perfume because I love the bottles (I have 37)

43. The only thing I've ever won was a kissing contest

44. I don't take myself seriously

45. I watched the complete collection of Dawson's Creek in week (I was sick)

46. I stayed up until 5am one of those nights

47. By the end Dawson was irritating me so much I skipped through every scene with him in

48. I love making friends

49. I hope to meet some of you fabulous people in person one day

50. A friend at work is learning French and got it in to her head I must be good at French (WTF?), every time she asks me something I Google it - I have a French translator on my Iphone now!!

50 will do - it was a struggle and this has taken me almost an hour!!!

I'm going to give you a guided tour around my house sometime soon! That's probably not as exciting as I think it is.

#5 - Something Old

Soooooo, for the past week I've been participating in My Life in Photos hosted by the delectable Everything Except The Grill .

The plot line...The purpose of this photo challenge project is to encourage you to pick up your camera and start capturing details of your life. This project should also serve as a way to look at what others are finding to shoot and will hopefully keep you inspired to look for more moments in your life you wouldn't always think to capture with your camera.Our first My Life. In Pictures. challenge will start on March 30th and run through April 3rd.The assignment will be: Monday- Something new, Tuesday- Something on your table, Wednesday- The view from your front door, Thursday- Something you do each day and Friday- Something old. If you need any more details they are listed here. It's your last chance to join in today! Go on, squeeze all 5 pictures in to one day!!

#5 Something Old

I was going to take a photo of an old person, then I remembered I don't have any of my own left... apart from my parents and they aren't that old (it scares me to say that!!). I decided upon a picture (well I scanned it) of an old picture.

Seeing as though I've talked a bit about my entertaining, yet somewhat disturbed, parents I thought I'd introduce you to one - Mr Secret-Keeper. Although he severely dislikes the Bee Gees he clearly thought he was one!!

The photo was taken in around 18...OK, 1973 in Greece...(sing with me) Papa was a rolling stone...until he met Mrs Secret-Keeper! He wasn't actually the manwhoring type of rolling stone though! He just travelled a lot before he met my mom...who am I trying to convince here!?

My dad lived in 17 countries in 4 years - I know that's not much nowadays (I know people who have visited more in 12 months) but for the 1970s that was a lot considering it took days / weeks to get anywhere and travelling abroad was expensive!! Dad and his crew (as they would be known today) visited Russia, Austria, Sweden, Denmark, Germany, Greece, Italy, France, Espania and Norway to mention a few. These were just the ones before my sister and I were born!

Well, that concludes My life in pictures. I promise that next week I will come up with something good to blog about. If you have any topic suggestions please let me know!! I intend on getting some much needed sleep this weekend so I will be in tip top condition for next weeks blogging (although I clearly plan on blogging over the weekend!!). xx

Ok, Ok, Part 2! (This is longer that Forever and I haven't proof read it!)

Firstly, I cannot believe you actually read the previous post! When I went to reply to the first comment (SO@24) it took me like 5 minutes to scroll to the bottom! How did you cope!? I shall make a point to write shorter posts (probably after this one hehe!).

Secondly, I wish to apologise!! I actually ended the last post uber abruptly because I got bored of writing about it! I did actually find I'm not as resentful to the moron that is Steb_16 (lol) as I thought I was. He actually did me a favour, of sorts!

Back to the story.....first picture as promised! Are you loving my anonymity effort? (I'm literally hysterical looking at that picture right now). I look like I've got a form of Trisomy 21 (a chromosomal thing that can cause mosaisism)...kind of!

Anyway...everything was fine until Steb_16 was playing basketball one night, he jumped up to dunk (or whatever it's called...damn, I knew I should've paid more attention in bball lingo class!)!! At 6ft9 he clearly didn't have too much need for jumping, but he was a bit of a show-off like that. So anyway he jumped and another player fowled him and he went headfirst over this lads shoulder and landed right on his wrist. Seriously. I have never seen anything so yukky!! I stood at the side not really sure what to do. I used to be a bit of a flake in a crisis! Now I'm not so bad. We ended up spending the night in A&E. Any normal person might think this was good of me, but not Steb_16. He accused me of all sorts of things because I didn't run over to him "like any other gf would've done". Another long story short...I cried, I apologised, he forgave me!!

Shortly after this, when we were out one night, he had a go at me (screaming) for talking to one of his friends for too long. When we got home I was crying so much I started to hyperventilate and had a panic attack (the only panic attack I have ever had and ever plan on having). Again, possibly another sign for me to leave?? Don't be silly!

It's funny, I was so stupid because following the panic attack I was miserable (we're about 6 months in to the relationship now), I was so unhappy that I actually decided that I had had enough...but I was too scared to end it. Not scared he'd do anything to me, but just too much of a coward I guess. So, I didn't! Yep, rubbish excuse! I'm officially rubbish!

The next few months went by pretty plainly. Steb_16 had seriously injured his wrist (I clearly wasn't that bothered as I can't remember for the life of me what it was that had happened but it was something worse than a straightforward break! I think they might actually have set it back on the wonk!) and couldn't play for about 4 months - so he was pretty dull, miserable and moody (understandable I guess).

(oooh, Joss Stone on AI)

I'm going to wrap this up quickly because I'm bored of talking about him now.

Steb_16 started back at training and things got really bad. His coach told him that he needed less "distractions" and so he decided the idiotic, balding, mid-life crisis bloke was right! (that's what I thought at the time about the coach, I clearly quite like him now lol). Steb_16 told me he was having some "issues" with "us" and that we should probably take a break...what the hell's a break? Are we doing a Ross and Rachel here? I'll be faithful you have fun...

...I think if you meet and have a relationship with someone over the internet you will always be a bit dubious as to whetehr they could do it behind your back - it's easier to hide than actually having a full blown person to person affair with someone. I had fully prepared myself for the reprocussions of what I'm about to tell you! During the "break" I was a bit worried that something else was going on so I checked his email account (I have no idea how I knew his password, ah, I remember....I wonder if it's still the same lol). He had indeed been speaking to someone else (which I'm not going into). Needless to say I told him I knew, he flew off the handle. Now, can you believe that somehow it was all twisted around and in the end I had to apologise for this? His response to my apology was "sorry just doesn't cut it anymore!". Erm. I have no words! He broke up with me the night before one of my GCSE exams, which I told him I failed although I actually didn't (I wanted him to feel bad).

It actually did me a lot of good though. From nowhere I grew a new backbone!! A few months later, after summer break, he got in touch with me and asked to meet up, I said no! When I started uni and he had a bball game in the new city I was living in he asked to meet up, I said no. When one of my friends died at 19 he tried to get in touch again and that was when I changed my number! We are now friends on Facebook but I can't IM him without feeling some kind of rage inside (lol) and I always (not that it's that often) try and gloat about my life and what I'm up to, how great I'm doing - even if it's a pack of lies!

Hmm, this is a bit of an anti-climax isn't it!?

Seriously kids, I must've had "this girl is a mug" written on her forehead though! I had NEVER, not once, let anyone treat me like this before. I was a confident, outgoing and bubbly girl until I met this idiot, who unfortunately I seemed to love! It's ok though because I got my bubbles back in the end...and that's why your reading this!! This is why, when I write about advice I give people, if they go back for more I have no tolerence! I know it's possible to cut yourself off from someone and that's what you have to do!

This is the a-hole now! Funny, I've just turned myself into a Facebook stalker to steal this for you...I'm doing it for the kids!! Hehe xx

The Post I Was Leaving for a While (Steb_16)

I've been arguing with myself all day about what to post today and I've given in and decided on the Steb_16 explanation post! It was a toss up between that, some random thing that I was hoping would come to me as I typed or twentysomethingwriter's writing prompt for the week (I have my album title, band name etc for this but need a bit more time to put it together!).

So here goes nothing (oh, and when I get home I'm going to upload some photos for this post, so if you're reading this and there aren't any photos come on back a little later!!).

As I said over here we met online when I was just 16. Really, I should've known it was going to end badly with my lax attitude towards the whole thing (to begin with) and his over-possessiveness! Seriously, this boy told me I was NOT ALLOWED to wear a bikini when I went to Ibiza with my girlfriends not even 2 months after we had met (met online, not in person!!).

After Ibiza, and before school started in September, Steb_16 made the 400ish journey from his home to mine! That must've been nerve-wracking for him!! We met at the station where this freaky little lady (who clearly thought she was a, very bad, fortune teller) told us, whilst waiting for a taxi, that she "could see marriage in our future". Clearly, not marriage for us together, separately maybe, haha.

To backtrack a little he actually stayed at my parents house that first time! Possibly bizarre I know (this is all seeming quite surreal to me now!), but I had the p-unit wrapped around my little finger in those days and so managed to twist to story a bit (he's a boy I met when he was on holiday here...honest!) and I actually got away with it. These days I'm a rubbish liar!

So anyway, he spent 3 days at my house and I think it's pretty safe to say I fell in love with him, what I thought was love at that age anyway.

It was literally 3 weeks before school started for me in September and Steb_16 was due to start his first year at uni at the same time. He was going to uni near his home town as he had managed to get a spot on their city basketball team as well as the uni team. Now ladies, back in those days he obviously thought I was quite a catch! He decided that he was going to turn down his uni place and try and get into the near uni to me (about 30 miles from my home town... but probably 450 miles from his!!!). When he told me I...yes ME...contacted the basketball team for that city and luckily they were in fact having try-outs the week after he started at uni. Long story short he got a place on the team! Well done Jen!!

God, this is turning epic! I'm trying to speed it up a bit. Hmm, I think I'm going to do a two-parter!! Ok, I'll take it up to December / January of the tale.

So, he moved in to this rough (and I mean seriously bad) house share because he was too late to apply to live on campus. I spent every weekend at this nasty house (ugh) because he claimed to be allergic to my dog (RIP Lucky!). I'm not sure how, at 16, I managed to convince my parents this was a good plan, and it was a year of my life I kind of "lost" as I can't remember having any kind of relationship with them for those 12 LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG months! We spent the weekends clubbing, drinking, having lots of sex and basketball (him playing me watching!).

I made a massive mistake though. Remember Ibiza? Well, I wore a bikini (and I wore damn it well!). I'd sort of forgotten about it once he'd moved down and, seriously, I didn't take him seriously. Anyway, my mistake was having the photos developed (pre-digital) whilst with him for the weekend. OMG I have never seen anyone so mad (apart from the time in Geography when I drew a picture of the teacher, Mr Jones, with his man-junk hanging over the desk and an arrow pointing towards his bald patch saying "Solar Panel for a Sex Machine". Yeah, that didn't go down well with Mr Jones!). Anyway, talk about flying off the handle! Steb_16 was livid!! I think the reaction was a little overdone! I also don't think I've ever been so humiliated in public nor have I ever cried so much in my life! I felt like a little kid (coming from someone who grew up early, having sex and going clubbing at 14, I think this is pretty serious). Do you reckon this would've been a sign for me to leave? Nowadays I would advise anyone who asked me to leave at the first sign of this kind of ridiculousness! But I stayed put. There was a serious amount of grovelling and crying done by me (seriously, this is why I still harbour resentment, did he really have a need to make me feel so, so, I dunno, I don't have the words...it was hideous though). So, eventually he "forgave" me (I'm irritated by just writing that as I DID NOTHING WRONG). We carried on happily for a couple of months bu then...

To be continued...(and I'll post pics later)

The Start of Something New - Hmm, i'm sure that's the title of a Priscilla song!

Recently I’ve been feeling that I don’t really have time for any of the little extra things in life like reading (seriously, Forever is only 178 pages so doesn’t count as a book), coffee with friends, opening post (!!)…just the simple things that make you feel like you’re doing something other than going to work, going to sleep (with a serious amount of blogging in between!).

To remedy this problem I decided to try getting up earlier! This would allow me to catch-up with blogs / comments before getting ready for work (I already did this but it tended to make me later than I wanted to be for work and left me a bit frazzled in the AM – see conversation via email below)

Jen - I'm drafting a post called "things you never knew about me"... #1. you may know about my OCD but do you know that I religiously check the blogs I'm following (all however many of them) on my Iphone before I even get out of bed in the morning!? No, I thought not! Haha, it's true! Life is sad!

Friend - I’m well aware of your internet obsession missy

Jen - Seriously, the second I wake up, I role over, grab my phone and away I go. Wifi is an incredible thing!! I like to do it that way because then I don't have to worry I'm missing something when I arrive at work - OMG I am hysterical in my head!! To be honest though I am not ashamed of my obsession! I do love the internet!

Friend - OMG, I am actually hysterical at you! I’m sure you could go to some remote part of the states and marry the internet and it would be legit.

As you might be able to tell, blogging was causing me some stress but not blog related stress, it was life related stress. Anyway, today was my first day of setting my alarm for 6am in the hope that I would get up early, do the blogging thing and then actually be able to sit down, have a drink or just do something other than blog. Lets re-cap on what actually happened this morning!

5:40 - woke with a fright - I was dreaming my boss had discovered my high volume of internet use and I had in fact been sacked!
5:40 - 6:00 - Laid in bed concerned about whether I had in fact lost my job (ridic I know!)
6:00 - alarm goes off
6:00 - 7:00 (usual getting up time) - playing catch-up with
blogs (because I love you all so much remember!)
7:00 - Got dressed, walked to get a newspaper (trashy daily tabloid of course)
7:15 - Got back, sat and read paper and had coffee.
7:45 - brush hair (I totally forgot to do it before getting paper! ahh), usual brief beauty regime!
8:00 - ensure I have everything for work
8:10 - Drive to work
8:25 - Arrive at work
8:40 - Pressure is too much - sneaky peak at Blogger!!!
9:00 - in desperate need of sleep....hmm, I wonder if I'd get away with closing my office door and napping!?

So....it sort of worked! I got to do more in the AM but I'm slightly concerned that I wont be able to stay awake through American Idol tonight and that will be a tragedy! How will I cope? That doesn't mean you have to give me last nights results!!

I totally forgot to mention....it was a 1 day trial. I'm off work tomorrow so it doesn't matter what I do WOO HOO! Just weaning myself in early!

To All You Crazy Bloggers

Do you ever lose blogs?

I feel like I’m permanently mislaying the blogs I love. I convince myself I’m “following” them (because I have a million and one bookmarks for my other blog so it makes more sense to me to “follow” them on Blogger – saves me getting confused, which is easily done!), but then 5 days down the line, when said blog hasn’t, apparently, been updated, I realise I was never following it! Gutted! Then there’s a lot of back-reading to be done! It breaks my heart!

I realised this morning that I wasn’t following one of my favourite blogs (Lilyspeak) and my goodness it was a shock! I have no idea how long it’s been since I read her blog but I’m feeling stressed as there’ll be a fair amount of catching up to do! The pressure!!! The even worse case scenario is a I fell in love with one of the first blogs I found via Blogger and I cannot, for the life of me, remember what it was called or how I found it. Talk about devastated! Just in case you know it...it's the blog of a teacher and she has an Autistic pupil who was about to become a main feature!! Please help!

Anyway…this is for you!

Yes you. You reading this I mean you!

Dear ______ (insert as applicable),

I’ve been meaning to write to you for a while now, but the time just never feels right. Somehow I just don’t seem to be able to find the words to say what I want you to know.

We've been dating for almost a month now, it feels like an eternity (in a good way!). I know some of your biggest secrets and you will learn more of mine as the days go by. I can be shy. There are two massive secrets in my life (no, it's not that, I'm definitely a girl!) that I don't yet feel able to tell you. But I will get there.

You haven't yet taken me for dinner or to the cinema or even spoken to me on the phone, but I feel we have something special.

I love that you read the things I write for you and that you leave me little love notes in response (even if you were a little horrified at this post). I love that you keep on coming back and so I love to pop over to your (metaphorical) house and leave you little messages as well!

In short…I love you! It really is that simple and if I had said that I wouldn't had have to write this letter....yes...I am dumb but I'm not blond (sorry if you are blond!).

I love you Mr/s Blogger! I hope you love me too!

Yours faithfully,

Jen

Footnote: In particular there are 16 of you that I especially love....you know who you are! Those 16 boys and girls who openly admit to loving me and also openly admitting that I am in fact fantabulous!!

Further footnote: I have actually sent off the first item for the Accessory Circle today. If you're not already involved and would like to join in just send me an email. To find out more about it click the "Accessory Circle" label in the sidebar on the right!

Yet another footnote: Apologies, I am somewhat retarded when it comes to Blogger (being new and all) and so I couldn't figure out how to stop the indenting quote!!

Doing it For the Boys!

Today I am the queen of procrastinate! So much to do, but so little enthusiasm to do it! So, I’m stealing a post idea. Well kind of. I had a flicker of guilt this morning when I read the most recent post at Starting Over at 24. If you haven’t already read it then head on over here as I’m giving you a 3 minute recess.

Woo, you came back!

So, let’s turn back time a little to a lovely young (oh to be young again *sigh*) Jen. In this scene I’m 16 years young to be precise!

When I was younger I had no trouble getting boys / boyfriends, but at 16 I discovered that wonder that was (no longer wondrous) Yahoo Chat (another OCD feature!), more for fun than dating to begin with! My first encounter (after numerous boys requesting cyber sex – I hope boys are more inventive for the current 16 year old girls out there!!) was with steb_16 / aka bballer_13 and I’m sure there was another name as well!!

Steb_16 = 17 years old, cute, blond (in really cute short curls), 6ft 9 (yes, I did mean 6ft 9 and not 5ft 9), as good a body as you can have 17 – he wasn’t a nasty little skinny awkward looking teenager by any means! Also, professional basketball player!

So anyway, we chatted for a month or so (which is a long time by the no standards of Match.com and whatnot where you could get yourself a date the following day these days)before meeting. He was a bit full on and actually told me he loved me before we met…but…despite this I continued to go out and party / drink / dance the night away and kissing boys was my speciality (I even went on an all girls holiday to Ibiza). Steb_16 was always a little quiet when I revealed my antics, but I never really got it. I was 16 and single and I assumed he was doing the same.

I’d never actually thought about it before but I do, having read SO24’s post, feel extremely guilty….well, for that situation anyway, Steb_16 was actually a class A A-hole so I don’t feel too bad. I’ll come back to him another day, the story gets long and complicated!

So, this is my apology post! I would like to apologise to all the boys / men who have fallen for a girl online (and I don't mean someone you just slept with, I mean properly fallen for!) and she has been mean in return! We do not do it on purpose and it’s not meant spitefully! It’s definitely not because we don’t like you! It’s like you’re living two separate lives, with two sets of friends and two sets or rules and until you actually meet in person there’s nothing to connect any of the “twos” apart from phone calls and emails and that gets a bit lonely.

My advice to you SO24 would be that one single kiss wont add up to the time you’ve spent getting to know *Bree and so you should try and take it in your stride – you’re well ahead of the kissing culprit when it comes to stealing her heart!

Sing With Me "Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend"

So, you'll never guess what I heard via Tova!!!

Scarymommy is giving away diamonds...DIAMONDS!

Can you believe that someone is giving away diamonds, real diamonds, not diamante or CZs??? Holyomgeffingmother! This is something I want a piece of! Actually, I don't want a "piece" I want a pair....of beautiful diamond earrings.

Clearly I am going to win, but I just thought I'd share the wealth and let you all know so that you can try and win too (oh no, I just remembered I AM GOING TO WIN so you'll be wasting your time...but hey ho, it'll be fun anyway!).

To enter click on this bad boy "I want sexy diamonds" or click the image (although I don't guarantee I've done it right). The rules are there - they're pretty simple, for 1 entry just subscribe to the feed and for extra entries you can tweet, blog and add to blogroll!

GOOD LUCK!!

BY THE WAY if you haven't seen my last couple of posts, check them out HERE and HERE, because it’s super and uber cool and the bestest thing ever and you need to join in. It’s my 100% excellent recession busting plan (that, like I’ve said before, I cannot believe the government have never thought of. They’ll catch on soon though – like they did with my idea to print more money!). JOIN IN (or I’ll tell you how much you suck. Well I wont, but I’ll say I did!).

The Accessory Circle – Part 1

As part of my (undiagnosed) moderate OCD I am officially obsessed with the internet (I regularly fall asleep with my laptop burning a hole in my leg!), amongst other things of course.

My newest internet related obsession is with reading blogs, and this is going to be a long drawn-out obsession because there are so many of the damn things (I don’t mean that obviously because I L.O.V.E them!).

Just recently though I’ve have read so so so many posts from bloggers who are a bit, let’s say, down in the dumps (I’m not sure if that’s an internationally used saying, so for those countries that don’t use it – it means miserable / depressed / sad / not loving life!). Well, despair not, I have a plan!!

Whilst at uni and living in the depths of poverty (ok, I laugh as I say that) because I spent my first student loan in Topshop – this was over the course of the year not just in 1 massive blow-out. Yes. All £3,000 (approx $5,500 at the time) of it and then I got a job in Topman (Topshop’s men’s store) so I would get 50% off purchases from Topshop – and you thought I was an idiot!).

Back to the story….so whilst at uni, having spent my first loan in Topshop and then getting a job at Topman I was rather short of cash, as were a lot of my friends (pre-uni friends). So we made a deal. Oh yes. A deal with El Diablo himself! El Diablo of the accessory world that is.

Every month someone would buy a good ‘all-rounder’ accessory. For example a cute little handbag / purse or a scarf, gloves, just anything that would go with pretty much anything. They would keep the item for, generally, 2 weeks. It would need to be used wisely (no reckless cocktail accidents). The purchaser would then post the item to the next divine person on the list. The aim was to accessorise without the cost!

Can you imagine your excitement one day, when you’d totally forgotten about the whole thing, to receive a fantastic new item through the post? It would be especially great if you were in a bad mood or down-in-the-dumps (explanation as above!) and you received a shiny new bag! Oh the joy!

Would anyone be interested in joining in? I already have 2 real-life friends who blog and live abroad and want to try it. So if you fancy something shiny and new delivered to your door (which also gives you a blog post to do in case you have writers block!) this is the game for you.

Get in touch and I shall post the rules!

Why Do People Think It's Strange?

I was talking to a friend last night and I'm just going to cut to the conversation:

Friend: I don't understand why people use the
internet so much?
Me: WHAT? (I'm sure you can imagine my amazement at this
comment but I cannot put it in to words!)
Friend: Well what's the point?
Me: To find out things, have fun and make friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friend: Granted, it's good for info. But aren't those people trying to make "friends" just pervs and losers?
Me: Erm....hello? I think you'll find I'm one of those pervs / losers!
Friend: Why?
Me: Well I write 2 blogs for FUN and I love to make friends - putting to the 2 together apparently makes me an internet perve (can you tell I was getting irrationally irritated?).
Friend: Well I'm allowed my opinion.
Me: ... gobsmacked!

Ok "friend", you are allowed you're opinion but NOT when it's completely unjustified. I was so lost for words that I couldn't explain the beauty that is the blogosphere without blowing my cover - this wasn't a pre-mentioned friend but is one that knows the other friends so couldn't direct her to my blog.

Can anyone help me? I thought I might put the plus points in an email and fire it off via the internet (that's just for pervs did you know!?).

I'm still irritated even though I've slept on it!

Tips for Women

1 It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

2 It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3 It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

4 It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5 It is important that these four men don't know each other.

My Right Arm - AKA Apple Iphone (arm attachment)

I was reading a post here at My Telephone Booth and as my comment started to turn into an essay (it could've reached epic novel status) I thought I would it into a post. Sneaky I know!

When O2 sent me a new Iphone (I hasten to add that I did not ask for an upgrade - they clearly knew I'd keep it though) I decided, on it's 2nd day in it's new life, that I was going to send it back! A bit disgruntled because, let's face it, if I'd really wanted to swap my Blackberry for an Iphone I could've gone and done it by myself, but O2 obviously felt they knew better....and I'm quite ashamed to admit they were right!

It was shiny, and beautiful and matched my Ipod. It was just meant to be (this is what they make you think!!). It has become my right arm and I am very much lost without the little beauty.

The post on My Telephone Booth was mainly relating to all the "apps" (as the cool kids would say)....I have many of these and I thought I would share them (if you aren't interested change blog now!)...

• Google Earth - in case I have a desperate need (stalk-mode) to know where someone lives!
• Ebay - For the impromptu "need" for something new (or not so new)
• Facebook - More stalk-mode
• Ixmas tree - This one could probably go now, but it was great to have a fully decorated xmas tree in my pocket over xmas! All the cool kids were uber jealous!
• Shopping List - To make sure I remember the essentials!!
• Quizmas - Can you tell I got my Iphone over Christmas?
• BeeCells Lite / Dots Free / Hangman / Labyrinth / Mafia / Tap Tap Revenge - For during work boredom!
• Ipint - Because every girl needs to know how to give good head!
• Emobifree - Translator that speaks - but only speaks Mandarin - helpful, much!
• IHandy Level - for all those shelves I need to put up!
• M-Box Mail - actually helpful, Hotmail App
• Twitterific - The name gives it away
• GPS Lite - Another obvious one
• P.M.Free - Woo Hoo, a necessity - Piano player! I love this one but I'm just really bad at it!

So there you go. My comment on My Phone Booth was actually rambling on about how I only download the apps I really need. Well, I think I just proved myself to be an idiot. Yep, well done Jen!

I Heart Shoes - Closing the Chapter

Something About Me!

I like to post every day (keeps it sort of interesting - and keeps me out of mischief) and so to fill the gaps when I can't think of much you might want to read (like my wine dilemma over here!) I will be telling you (possibly rubbish and boring) facts about me. So...to kick off we will start with my obsession for shoes.

I know what you're thinking....predictable / unoriginal...much! I forgive you. BUT I went a step further than most 20 something girls. I turned my obsession into a business!

For 3 years I imported shoes from Asia and wholesaled them online from my own website. I also dabbled in dropshipping but it was a bit too complicated for my small brain capacity.

I sold stiletto shoes, peep toes, platforms, ankle boots, knee highs, thigh highs, stripper heels, sexy steel heels, kitten heels, black, red, white, pink, blue, two-tone, stripey, lace-ups, killer heels and probably a few more. You name it I had it. My only criteria was that they had to have a heel. Strictly no flats!

Last year I made a massive decision (it's been a bit slowed-down because of the worldwide financial issues - not just my own). The decision will be revealed at a later date. Got to keep you interested somehow!

So at the end of last year I sold my domain name (it has since been snapped up by an adult / erotica site - it was a fantastic name though so I'm not too surprised!), sold-off nearly all of the 3,000 pairs of shoes I had left, from my final order, at extremely reduced prices, and relinquished responsibility of the back rooms of my dad's industrial unit back to him. I think he was pretty pleased to get rid of the ladies shoes / lingerie that had packed out the back half of his manly (can we say "grrrr") construction equipment unit. Bless dad! He once told me that he never thought it be sick of the sight of ladies lingerie...until I moved the stuff in. I'm impressed I managed to achieve that!

I still have about 200 pairs of said shoes left over. These are all stacked up in my old room at my parents' house - they have a 5-bedroom house for just the 2 of them so don't feel too bad for them. Although I do dread the day I go to their house, let myself in and find my mum strutting around in a pair of 8" platform stripper heels! I would literally die!

Anyway, I've decided to get rid of the last 200 or so pairs of shoes. I thought I would keep them in case I changed my mind on "the decision" and it would be my way of starting up again. Today though, I changed my mind and I'm about to close the door on that chapter! Instead of wholesaling this lot though I'm going to make a quick buck (although it'll take me a while to do...so maybe a slow buck) and list them all on EBay, that way I should make a bit more out of it instead of rubbishy wholesale prices.

NB the picture is just the ones I actually kept for me and not for the "just in case"!!

A quick "me" overview before the fun begins

Ok, so I'm yet another 20-something and I think I have something to say. I'm friendly, try to be funny, excellent (ha, there's me being funny), bright and bubbly, I love to dance the night away, a good drink never hurt anyone (although I once knew a boy whose uncle was an alcoholic, the drink got him in the end - he was run over by a brewery lorry!), I'm not afraid to eat chocolate, I don't think I have any hidden talents (that figures, if I did know about them they wouldn't be hidden), I'm a girl and love it, I can be serious if I have to, I'm shy yet confident (I'm a little odd) and my name is Jen.

I have loads of secrets

It all went wrong when I was 3 (yes, quite a while ago), well this is when the bad stuff started I guess. I can't really remember that far back so I can't be 100% sure. My parents had a lot of worries when it came to me.

Age 3 - Meningitis
Age 4 - Convulsions
Age 4 - Appendicitis
Age 5 - Peritonitis (did I spell that right?)
Age 12 - Cancer
Age 14 - This is the proper beginning and we'll get around to that later - it's a cracker!

Yep, there you have it, I have a very involved medical history and my hospital notes are contained in the hospitals "too fat to file" section! Sounds abusive to me! Now, you may be wondering "what the hell has this got to do with secrets"...well, it's a bit complicated to say the very least. I blame my parents, but I don't blame them in the sense that I hold a grudge, I blame them in that it's their fault but it's also not the end of the world - it's not like it's hurt me really.

When I was growing up my parents were very preoccupied with my sister (let's just call her Sister), she's about 18 months older than me and has a severe case of ADHD. Let's just say that because I was on the back burner I learnt to cope by sorting my problems myself and not bothering anyone else with them...this is where the secrets begin.

My first secret was that scary "C" word (cancer, not the other bad one). I'll bring you in half way through the story as the beginning is slow and boring. About 3 weeks after an operation to remove a "lump" (queried as a cyst) from my collarbone I was sat in a history lesson (at my all girls school) when the big cheese herself, the head mistress, came and collected me! Possibly the scariest moment of my life! How to instill fear and fright - send the head of the school to collect you! Anyway, I wasn't told what was happening or anything, I was just taken to the front of the school and collected by the surgeon who had removed said lump - this was semi-normal as he was a friend of my parents. I was taken directly to a specialist hospital where my (distraught) parents were waiting, turns out it wasn't a cyst - enter Ewings Sarcoma (PNET).

Again, cut to more interesting bit. Right, well this is where it all really begins. After being dragged out of my history lesson, mid afternoon on a Thursday, it wasn't until 2 weeks later that I was released from hospital and back at school. I don't know why I decided this, well I do but that'll come later, but I decided that I didn't want to tell anyone what was going on. My parents informed the school of my decision and so there was like a quilt of silence over the topic of discussion. The teachers were all told not to discuss what was happening amongst themselves and they were to tell my friends that they shouldn't ask what was happening and that's exactly what happened.....

....so, there was the start of my secret keeping. If you keep reading you'll find out that I did eventually tell my friends (Jen - age 17 and drunk!).

OMG, I totally just realised how depressing this all sounds. My blog is definitely, I repeat DEFINITELY, not going to be all woe is me and my life is so rubbish, but I think the start of the secret keeper was as above and if you didn't know how it began you might think the large amount of secrets within me are completely ridiculous or maybe even made up. Anyway, I hope you keep reading, they get raunchy and my friends are complete (lovable) disasters so there'll definitely be something to entertain you cool and crazy people!

Keep in touch,

jen xx