Ok, Ok, Part 2! (This is longer that Forever and I haven't proof read it!)

Firstly, I cannot believe you actually read the previous post! When I went to reply to the first comment (SO@24) it took me like 5 minutes to scroll to the bottom! How did you cope!? I shall make a point to write shorter posts (probably after this one hehe!).

Secondly, I wish to apologise!! I actually ended the last post uber abruptly because I got bored of writing about it! I did actually find I'm not as resentful to the moron that is Steb_16 (lol) as I thought I was. He actually did me a favour, of sorts!

Back to the story.....first picture as promised! Are you loving my anonymity effort? (I'm literally hysterical looking at that picture right now). I look like I've got a form of Trisomy 21 (a chromosomal thing that can cause mosaisism)...kind of!

Anyway...everything was fine until Steb_16 was playing basketball one night, he jumped up to dunk (or whatever it's called...damn, I knew I should've paid more attention in bball lingo class!)!! At 6ft9 he clearly didn't have too much need for jumping, but he was a bit of a show-off like that. So anyway he jumped and another player fowled him and he went headfirst over this lads shoulder and landed right on his wrist. Seriously. I have never seen anything so yukky!! I stood at the side not really sure what to do. I used to be a bit of a flake in a crisis! Now I'm not so bad. We ended up spending the night in A&E. Any normal person might think this was good of me, but not Steb_16. He accused me of all sorts of things because I didn't run over to him "like any other gf would've done". Another long story short...I cried, I apologised, he forgave me!!

Shortly after this, when we were out one night, he had a go at me (screaming) for talking to one of his friends for too long. When we got home I was crying so much I started to hyperventilate and had a panic attack (the only panic attack I have ever had and ever plan on having). Again, possibly another sign for me to leave?? Don't be silly!

It's funny, I was so stupid because following the panic attack I was miserable (we're about 6 months in to the relationship now), I was so unhappy that I actually decided that I had had enough...but I was too scared to end it. Not scared he'd do anything to me, but just too much of a coward I guess. So, I didn't! Yep, rubbish excuse! I'm officially rubbish!

The next few months went by pretty plainly. Steb_16 had seriously injured his wrist (I clearly wasn't that bothered as I can't remember for the life of me what it was that had happened but it was something worse than a straightforward break! I think they might actually have set it back on the wonk!) and couldn't play for about 4 months - so he was pretty dull, miserable and moody (understandable I guess).

(oooh, Joss Stone on AI)

I'm going to wrap this up quickly because I'm bored of talking about him now.

Steb_16 started back at training and things got really bad. His coach told him that he needed less "distractions" and so he decided the idiotic, balding, mid-life crisis bloke was right! (that's what I thought at the time about the coach, I clearly quite like him now lol). Steb_16 told me he was having some "issues" with "us" and that we should probably take a break...what the hell's a break? Are we doing a Ross and Rachel here? I'll be faithful you have fun...

...I think if you meet and have a relationship with someone over the internet you will always be a bit dubious as to whetehr they could do it behind your back - it's easier to hide than actually having a full blown person to person affair with someone. I had fully prepared myself for the reprocussions of what I'm about to tell you! During the "break" I was a bit worried that something else was going on so I checked his email account (I have no idea how I knew his password, ah, I remember....I wonder if it's still the same lol). He had indeed been speaking to someone else (which I'm not going into). Needless to say I told him I knew, he flew off the handle. Now, can you believe that somehow it was all twisted around and in the end I had to apologise for this? His response to my apology was "sorry just doesn't cut it anymore!". Erm. I have no words! He broke up with me the night before one of my GCSE exams, which I told him I failed although I actually didn't (I wanted him to feel bad).

It actually did me a lot of good though. From nowhere I grew a new backbone!! A few months later, after summer break, he got in touch with me and asked to meet up, I said no! When I started uni and he had a bball game in the new city I was living in he asked to meet up, I said no. When one of my friends died at 19 he tried to get in touch again and that was when I changed my number! We are now friends on Facebook but I can't IM him without feeling some kind of rage inside (lol) and I always (not that it's that often) try and gloat about my life and what I'm up to, how great I'm doing - even if it's a pack of lies!

Hmm, this is a bit of an anti-climax isn't it!?

Seriously kids, I must've had "this girl is a mug" written on her forehead though! I had NEVER, not once, let anyone treat me like this before. I was a confident, outgoing and bubbly girl until I met this idiot, who unfortunately I seemed to love! It's ok though because I got my bubbles back in the end...and that's why your reading this!! This is why, when I write about advice I give people, if they go back for more I have no tolerence! I know it's possible to cut yourself off from someone and that's what you have to do!

This is the a-hole now! Funny, I've just turned myself into a Facebook stalker to steal this for you...I'm doing it for the kids!! Hehe xx

The Post I Was Leaving for a While (Steb_16)

I've been arguing with myself all day about what to post today and I've given in and decided on the Steb_16 explanation post! It was a toss up between that, some random thing that I was hoping would come to me as I typed or twentysomethingwriter's writing prompt for the week (I have my album title, band name etc for this but need a bit more time to put it together!).

So here goes nothing (oh, and when I get home I'm going to upload some photos for this post, so if you're reading this and there aren't any photos come on back a little later!!).

As I said over here we met online when I was just 16. Really, I should've known it was going to end badly with my lax attitude towards the whole thing (to begin with) and his over-possessiveness! Seriously, this boy told me I was NOT ALLOWED to wear a bikini when I went to Ibiza with my girlfriends not even 2 months after we had met (met online, not in person!!).

After Ibiza, and before school started in September, Steb_16 made the 400ish journey from his home to mine! That must've been nerve-wracking for him!! We met at the station where this freaky little lady (who clearly thought she was a, very bad, fortune teller) told us, whilst waiting for a taxi, that she "could see marriage in our future". Clearly, not marriage for us together, separately maybe, haha.

To backtrack a little he actually stayed at my parents house that first time! Possibly bizarre I know (this is all seeming quite surreal to me now!), but I had the p-unit wrapped around my little finger in those days and so managed to twist to story a bit (he's a boy I met when he was on holiday here...honest!) and I actually got away with it. These days I'm a rubbish liar!

So anyway, he spent 3 days at my house and I think it's pretty safe to say I fell in love with him, what I thought was love at that age anyway.

It was literally 3 weeks before school started for me in September and Steb_16 was due to start his first year at uni at the same time. He was going to uni near his home town as he had managed to get a spot on their city basketball team as well as the uni team. Now ladies, back in those days he obviously thought I was quite a catch! He decided that he was going to turn down his uni place and try and get into the near uni to me (about 30 miles from my home town... but probably 450 miles from his!!!). When he told me I...yes ME...contacted the basketball team for that city and luckily they were in fact having try-outs the week after he started at uni. Long story short he got a place on the team! Well done Jen!!

God, this is turning epic! I'm trying to speed it up a bit. Hmm, I think I'm going to do a two-parter!! Ok, I'll take it up to December / January of the tale.

So, he moved in to this rough (and I mean seriously bad) house share because he was too late to apply to live on campus. I spent every weekend at this nasty house (ugh) because he claimed to be allergic to my dog (RIP Lucky!). I'm not sure how, at 16, I managed to convince my parents this was a good plan, and it was a year of my life I kind of "lost" as I can't remember having any kind of relationship with them for those 12 LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG months! We spent the weekends clubbing, drinking, having lots of sex and basketball (him playing me watching!).

I made a massive mistake though. Remember Ibiza? Well, I wore a bikini (and I wore damn it well!). I'd sort of forgotten about it once he'd moved down and, seriously, I didn't take him seriously. Anyway, my mistake was having the photos developed (pre-digital) whilst with him for the weekend. OMG I have never seen anyone so mad (apart from the time in Geography when I drew a picture of the teacher, Mr Jones, with his man-junk hanging over the desk and an arrow pointing towards his bald patch saying "Solar Panel for a Sex Machine". Yeah, that didn't go down well with Mr Jones!). Anyway, talk about flying off the handle! Steb_16 was livid!! I think the reaction was a little overdone! I also don't think I've ever been so humiliated in public nor have I ever cried so much in my life! I felt like a little kid (coming from someone who grew up early, having sex and going clubbing at 14, I think this is pretty serious). Do you reckon this would've been a sign for me to leave? Nowadays I would advise anyone who asked me to leave at the first sign of this kind of ridiculousness! But I stayed put. There was a serious amount of grovelling and crying done by me (seriously, this is why I still harbour resentment, did he really have a need to make me feel so, so, I dunno, I don't have the words...it was hideous though). So, eventually he "forgave" me (I'm irritated by just writing that as I DID NOTHING WRONG). We carried on happily for a couple of months bu then...

To be continued...(and I'll post pics later)

Doing it For the Boys!

Today I am the queen of procrastinate! So much to do, but so little enthusiasm to do it! So, I’m stealing a post idea. Well kind of. I had a flicker of guilt this morning when I read the most recent post at Starting Over at 24. If you haven’t already read it then head on over here as I’m giving you a 3 minute recess.

Woo, you came back!

So, let’s turn back time a little to a lovely young (oh to be young again *sigh*) Jen. In this scene I’m 16 years young to be precise!

When I was younger I had no trouble getting boys / boyfriends, but at 16 I discovered that wonder that was (no longer wondrous) Yahoo Chat (another OCD feature!), more for fun than dating to begin with! My first encounter (after numerous boys requesting cyber sex – I hope boys are more inventive for the current 16 year old girls out there!!) was with steb_16 / aka bballer_13 and I’m sure there was another name as well!!

Steb_16 = 17 years old, cute, blond (in really cute short curls), 6ft 9 (yes, I did mean 6ft 9 and not 5ft 9), as good a body as you can have 17 – he wasn’t a nasty little skinny awkward looking teenager by any means! Also, professional basketball player!

So anyway, we chatted for a month or so (which is a long time by the no standards of Match.com and whatnot where you could get yourself a date the following day these days)before meeting. He was a bit full on and actually told me he loved me before we met…but…despite this I continued to go out and party / drink / dance the night away and kissing boys was my speciality (I even went on an all girls holiday to Ibiza). Steb_16 was always a little quiet when I revealed my antics, but I never really got it. I was 16 and single and I assumed he was doing the same.

I’d never actually thought about it before but I do, having read SO24’s post, feel extremely guilty….well, for that situation anyway, Steb_16 was actually a class A A-hole so I don’t feel too bad. I’ll come back to him another day, the story gets long and complicated!

So, this is my apology post! I would like to apologise to all the boys / men who have fallen for a girl online (and I don't mean someone you just slept with, I mean properly fallen for!) and she has been mean in return! We do not do it on purpose and it’s not meant spitefully! It’s definitely not because we don’t like you! It’s like you’re living two separate lives, with two sets of friends and two sets or rules and until you actually meet in person there’s nothing to connect any of the “twos” apart from phone calls and emails and that gets a bit lonely.

My advice to you SO24 would be that one single kiss wont add up to the time you’ve spent getting to know *Bree and so you should try and take it in your stride – you’re well ahead of the kissing culprit when it comes to stealing her heart!