The Not So Funday Monday

I’m seriously lacking material of any kind of substance today! Feeling tired (I swear, the one hour we lost yesterday appears to have really upset me!
I may petition for duvet days at work! I think 4 per year should suffice! I’m not sure they could say no to be quite honest. On a day like today I’m not exactly the most productive person in the prison camp.

So, for Funday Monday I will provide a snippet of some of the classic emails I have received today! If I knew how to snapshot them I would...but I can't...so I wont!

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How Smart is Your Right Foot?

This is funny and you’ll become addicted to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't.

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

Your foot will change direction.

I told you so ......And there's nothing you can do about it.

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A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that “she looks extremely beautiful when her lips are closed”.

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Most therapists claim they can help homosexuals to restrict their gayness to weekends only, according to new research.

In a survey 97% of mental health professionals said that if a patient came to them asking to be made less gay or not gay at all, they would be more than happy to sign them up for an introductory period of 48 weekly sessions.

Therapist Dr Bill McKay said: "My programme of weekend gayness allows many people to control their Monday to Friday perversions leaving them free to enjoy playful office banter about bums and titties”.

"In order to control the gayness I show them pictures of naked ladies, sometimes on all fours with a sexy, come-hither look on their face, sometimes with legs akimbo. I then ask the patient if he is experiencing erections.

Of course, we can't cure people overnight and in the vast majority of cases it takes years and years and years - and years - of weekly therapy at £150 an hour. It sounds like a lot, but as I always tell them, you can't put a price this kind of therapy!

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Hung Chow calls into work and says, “hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work”. The boss says,
“you know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that”.

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. “I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon........You got nice house”.

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Extra “me” stuff that doesn’t warrant a whole post!

- Got up at 6:30 again today. This together with the lost hour from yesterday has actually killed me and I may sneak under my desk (it’s sort of a massive “U” shape a one side…hang on….I’m going to draw you a diagram!!

So, as you can see I could probably get in the “blind spot” (the filing cabinets are under the desk) with my sleeping bag and no-one would notice! What do you reckon my chances are??

P.S I hope you liked the drawing!

P.P.S Sorry about the smudges!

P.P.P.S Yeah, I know I'm not that great an artist!