Now You Have To Be Kidding Me! - Part 2!

So, if you didn't already read the previous post now is your time to do so, I'll allow a 5 min recess for reading catch-up over here.

Welcome back...

Following an hour or so of instant emails between myself and Bex (productivity at work took a bit of a bashing this day!) I laid down my true thoughts on the issue. I tend not to get straight to the point for fear of upsetting my friends. But to be quite honest I was getting a bit annoyed that the amazing Miss Bex couldn't see she was being taken for a ride! I know there is a massive difference between giving advice and taking it, but come on, your bf is advertising his sexual services on Gumtree (hello? Gumtree = international - the boy's going global here, it's not just the local newspaper!).

I'll break it down for you - this is what I said to Bex:

1 He's hit you, lied to you, cheated on you, finished with you, got bored with you, used you and stolen from you.

As if number 1 wasn't enough of a reason I thought I would push it home with number 2...

2 STDs are a massive possibility. if he's low enough to advertise his services (at her flat I'd like to add!) he must have some kind of nasty dirty disease - maybe even a plethora (I love that word!)

So, Bex totally took my points and made all the right noises at the right times. She even said "right, that's it, I can't take it any more...it's over!".

Yes, you clever reader, you totally guessed it! She lied!

Apparently it was his friends who set it up as a joke (er...the words "yeah" and "right" spring suddenly to mind!), I'm sure he used the words "sorry" and "I love you" in his many excuses, but sorry sweetheart, sorry doesn't cut it sometimes!

And, guess what, he's trapped her as well now because he booked them a tripped to Las Vegas and it's not for 6 months - who's going to turn down an all expenses paid trip??

I'm struggling to understand! If someone disrespects you so much how can you possibly go back for more! She keeps emailing me now telling me how well things are going and how great he's being.

Is it bad for me to be thinking that I really cannot be bothered to reply (obviously I reply with "that's great" and "I'm really pleased he's being nice")?

Are You Serious? Part 1

This post was the final straw in a long line of things that forced me to start a new blog! I have rushed through the "introductions" because I was ridiculously desperate to share this post and get your thoughts on it!!!

Ok, I hope you think this is as ridiculous as I do

Subject: Bex

Issue: Boy Trouble (really, are you that surprised?)

Last week I had a very panicked email, and I mean it was seriously panicked! You know when you open an email and just from reading the first sentence you get that knot in the pit of your stomach and you just know it's something bad? It was that kind of email!

Opening line "Jen, are you there? I feel sick, this is really bad. I'm scared, I don't know what to do. Please reply". Ok, so it was the entire email and not really just the opening line.

Can you see why I was concerned. So, the things that went through my mind were as follows (you know you can squeeze in a lot of thinking between Outlook pings when you're a bit worried!):

1 - Dumbo has split up with her yet again
2 - She caught an STD from Dumbo
3 - She got fired for too much emailing
4 - Someones died
5 - Dumbo died and I'm going to hell for all the bad things I've said

...and so on. the list was pretty much endless. Anyway, I deleted the actual email by accident before I had chance to email it to my personal account. The gist of it was that Bex had been given Dumbo's Hotmail details (inc. password) but Dumbo himself (he clearly is dumb...you'll see why). Bex went in to find some confirmation details for him and happen to accidentally (hahah) open a Gumtree email. OH MY GOD, I'm a firm believer that you shouldn't snoop unless you are 100% prepared for the consequences of what you might find. What Bex found was definitely not something she was prepared for, she went directly from the email to an ad on Gumtree...

Hi,

Im a 25 year old athletic, confident straight male looking to spice up my
week with occasional nsa sex....Im new to this but have always been keen to experiment.

I can accommodate and would require discretion.

If you need to know anymore message me,

Dumbo (insert real name)

Can you believe it? What would you do if this was your bf or you were the friend of said gf??

I'll post the reality of the situation after I'd heard what you think....get thinking!!

jen xx

B to the EX

I started off writing the most recent secret but soon realised that you need some background first or I will be forever blogging in the past and I want to go real-time, so I will try and round up the secret givers as best as I can over this coming week.

Bex

Bex and I met aged 18, first time living away from home, we were possibly the worst 2 people to be living together.

Bex was from the mid-north and me from the south, we were both a bit crazy with wicked sense of humours. Being students we didn't stick to the going-out rules from home (i.e. Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights), we went out Monday through Thursday and the whole of our residence (all 4,000 freshers!) stayed in over the weekends. In our block there were 7 floors, each floor had 2 flats and each flat had 12 students. Bex and I were the only 2 girls in flat 14 on the 7th floor!

Every weekend was spent wondering around the several blocks of flats in our mini-village in Southampton making friends and drinking a lot!

At the time Bex had a serious boyfriend (they split up in the 2nd year) and I was free, single and loving life. Bex confessed she was sometimes jealous as I didn't have to worry about a) what bf was doing at his uni and b) If what I did would upset anyone, for example our first night at uni there was a gathering of us and the 10 boys from our flat in my room, they all started to leave the room, 1 boy left:

Jen: Can you get in my bed so I can go to sleep.

Cokey: Get in your bed?

Jen: No, I said get out of

Needless to say I woke up in the morning and Monsieur Coke was still in my bed.
Back to Bex...

After uni Bex and I lost contact for a few years, it's difficult living so far apart to keep in touch when you have different things going on. I know that's a lame excuse (OMG, I haven't said "lame" in years!!) but it's my excuse so suck it up!

Anyway, we found each other again and I now get daily emails from Bex. She has a boyfriend, lets call him Dumbo. Last year Bex admitted that Dumbo has hit her (she filed a police report then retracted it - bad girl), we both know he's cheated on her, he uses her for money and a place to crash, he's a 26 year old child not wanting to grow up (can you see the love i harbour for this dude?), he cannot commit to her...and the best is yet to come!!

I've grown more and more intolerant towards Dumbo and I've never even met him. I really don't like disliking people but he's definitely on that list!

Bex is a serious candidate for the "boy trouble" category as it's all she ever seems to have.

She's a perfect girlfriend in my eyes. She's beautiful, she's athletic (she's actually a sports model and is a lookalike for a famous tennis player (I shall not say which as you might Google her)), she's a dancer, an excellent friend, she's bright and confident.....a real shining star!

I do love my Bex! But I don't love her issues.

Keep reading to find out what the latest of Bex' dramas is - I assure you it's the craziest thing you have ever heard, and the next friend to be introduced is KP.

Introductions - A Helping Hand

OK, so here's an overview of my 'characters' - I will fill the main few in now (but as it's 3:22am and I can't seem to think properly) and every time I post about another friend I shall add their info down here too!

Jen - That's me! I am the secret keeper and a friend to most I'd like to think - but you can't please everyone! I have a lot of secrets of my own, not necessarily because they're really bad, but for me I've always thought that old saying "a problem shared is a problem halved" was wrong and it should actually be "a problem shared is a problem doubled"...this will become clearer as my secrets come out!

Mitch - Bless her! Mitch has been my friend since school, she joined when we were 16 so she was bit of a latecomer! She was bright, bubbly, funny, beautiful, exciting, vivacious, exotic and everyone wanted to be her friend...She was also everything you'd want to be until last year. The previous year she met, and moved in with, her BF, let's call him...actually, let's just use his real name...Tom. Tom was pretty nasty and with Mitch's self loathing spiralling out of control she became anorexic. On Valentines Day 2008 Mitch weighed in at 4st 9lbs (65lbs) - for a 5'5" 24 year old that is pretty terrible! The road to recovery has barely begun so I'm guessing you can figure out some of the issues that'll come with Mitch.

Bex - Bex was my roommate at uni. We had some of the most amazing and hilarious times together, we were quite a bad pairing and were forever getting each other in to trouble. Bex is a confident and beautiful dancer as well as other things.

KP - Possibly the funniest of the bunch. Miss KP has recently taken the plunge with a new job, new responsibility and a totally new city! Not knowing a soul in her new town I'm sure she'll have some stories!

Toni - I've only known Toni for a short while, maybe 12 months, but she is an incredible girl. She has had severe depression since the age of 13 and I think she deserves a medal for coming this far. She's only 22 yet is extremely wise...although clearly not on everything or she wouldn't be on here! There's a chance I will cave and tell Toni about this blog so I thought I may as well use her name!

KPC - AKA BF. KPC stands for "Kung Pow Cow". KPC is a black belt, a surfer and my best friend!

This is all sounding a bit miserable, but trust me it isn't. I have have put a bit of a dull spin on things, but mainly because I have my first post for each in mind and they aren't pretty. A lot of things seem to have happened recently and so there's been a lot of advice flying around. I'm amazed I ever get any work done!!